Saturday, September 5, 2009

Erik - Sexually Transmitted Tool

Erik Cardona hails from the great state of California. Way to recruit CBS. He's 28 and doesn't use fancy terms like 'Mixologist' to describe his job. He's a bartender boys and girls and true to bartender form, he's very proud of the fact that he's a womanizer. Come on! Can we please have a normal male player who doesn't describe himself as a total pig? Do guys think that's a turn on or something? "Hey baby, I'm a womanizer, want to go out?" Uh, no you stupid a-hole. To further up his douchiness factor, he likes to chase after "taken women" just for the challenge. He says he can date 4-5 women at a time.... yeah and get 4-5 sexually transmitted diseases. Jesus, I hate this guy already.

Oh hell no... his favorite hobby is, and I quote, "skirt chasing". *sticks a hot poker in eye* Erik is 28 and has degrees in Sociology and Psychology, but he chooses to be a bartender because he likes to wake up late. Ok now I want all of you to go back and reread that last sentence and note it as a worthy reason to hate this guy.

Erik likes his daddy and looks up to him blah blah blah. Erik likes to stick his pickle in lots of jars. That's it. That's all he has to offer. Some drunk CBS exec found this douchebag bartending in downtown L.A. and mistakenly thought he'd make a good Survivor contestant. My personal hope is that Erik hits on everything and gets turned down repeatedly. I want him to be made a fool of on national TV so I can sit here smoking opium with my leprechaun and laugh and laugh and laugh. I hope he doesn't make it to the merge and I hope his dick falls off. The End.

He pronounced naivete as naivity and he has the nerve to call out the other men as being players. Don't ever ask him to tell an anecdote because you'll fall asleep from boredom like I did in this video.

1 comment:

  1. Great post. It'll be hilarious to watch that douchebag fail on the show (on top his failure at life).