Rupert adjusts his tie dyed tank top, smooths his hair away from his face, and sashays in to the camp where the Villains are cooking Crispy Pony for lunch. Colby tiptoes behind him offering cowered moral support coupled with sinister unhappy glances. The Villains, ravenous and focused on food, don't even notice Rupert approaching and have no idea an all out bitch fight is seconds away. Rupert harumps into the middle of the scene and starts waving his arms (from which a flock of geese flies out) and shuffling from side to side he bellows, "You are in high school and while you're in high school I'm in Brooklyn!" Lucifer looks up annoyed to be bothered while cooking, shrugs his shoulders, and says, "Rupert, I'm a Villain."
Rupert just stands there confused at the logic that's just been hurled at him. In the distance Parvati giggles, Danielle combs her moustache, Jerri puts on another scarf, and Sandra adjusts her fishing cap. If Rupert doesn't step off, these Villains are gonna get all West Side Story or Bad Girls Club on his hairy ass. You don't mess with a Villain at meal time. That's only common sense. They're very much like wolves in that respect... and not those New Moon pussy wolves either. These are hardcore wolves like the kind you see howling on a t-shirt. Lucifer, flanked by his women, growls and gets up to approach Rupert. He starts throwing darts at the confused Sasquatch. One says "Second coming of Christ". Another says "You're a dumb ass". Yet another says, "Get your tie dye ready cuz you're going home". Rupert tries to block the poisoned darts with Colby, but Colby just cries and wriggles away.
This brings us to our first challenge of the night. The challenge is called, "Which Chick Grew The Most Arm Pit Hair?" or something like that. All the bitches had to stand on a perch and hold onto a rope linked to a bucket of paint. The last person to keep their bucket of paint from falling wins Immunity. It was very Parent Trap-esque (1961 Parent Trap, mind you - the only one I'll watch) like when Susan snuck into Sharon's cabin and set up all the booby traps. I'm quite sure one was a paint can over the door... only it might have been filled with chocolate... I'm not sure. Anyhow, Survivors have to stand there making their arms all sore while Probst-y will snicker and tempt them with delicious treats. Before Dimples manages to even wheel out the first covered surprised Sandra and Lucifer leap off their perches and quit. Now, I'm not exactly sure why they did what they did. I figure Sandra did it cuz competing ain't her thang, but I can't figure out why Lucifer did it... or at least why he did it so soon. I'm a careful sort of a person (when I'm sober) and I like to cover all my bets so I would have made sure a number of Villains were left standing to beat out Colby and Rupert. These bitches were dropping like flies though.
Back at camp, Lucifer is in the bell jar trying to come up with a new plan. He's pissed off Danielle. He's infuriated Parvati. Sandra hates him. Who's left? Oh yeah... Jerri! It's a well known fact that along with Colby, Jerri loves Tom Cruise. Why do you think her hair is so curly? That's clearly Nicole Kidman's 'do from Days Of Thunder. In addition to Jerri being, well, Jerri, she's also an enigma. You never know what approach will work on her. Lucifer tries to sweet talk her at first, but she just ignores it. Next, he threatens her and that didn't go over too well. She started shrieking and howling "Don't threaten meeeee!!!". Just when Lucifer thought he was all out of tricks he whips out the Tom Cruise Defense. He turns to Jerri, gives her a lopsided grin, and says in his best Jerry Maguire voice, "Hep me to hep you" (Note: I think he meant "help". Thank you to the Quoteman for the phoenetic spelling.) We're left with an image of Jerri cocking her head and looking intrigued.