Thursday, February 10, 2011

Natalie: Amityville Shoulders

Natalie is 19 and I think it should be a Survivor rule that teenagers are no longer allowed on this show. I want my Survivor like a velvet roped club. You have to be 21 and willing to sleep with whomever is in charge. If you can't drink alcohol, you can't win a million dollars. To me, this is common sense. I guess I'd just like to watch people with a tad more life experience. Even I'd like to learn something once in a while and I'm not sure a Miley Cyrus song is what I want to learn at this point in my life.

Natalie is a dancer and says her personal claim to fame is being the youngest female to play Survivor. See? This is why we shouldn't have teenagers on this show. That's not a claim to fame. That's a product of circumstance. Ugh, I haven't even watched her video yet and I already hate her. Hey, do you think Matt uses an exfoliator or a buf-puf?

Alright let's watch the teenager's video...

Yeah, I stand by my no teenager's rule. This girl can't put a complete sentence together and I think her shoulders might be possessed. I didn't watch the whole video, but I know she's still unsure of herself in this world and that's just not a person I want to root for in the greatest game to hit television. Moving on...


  1. This is a joke, right? She's a zygote! And I'm pretty sure she's also a ding-a-ling.

  2. Natalie *who*??

    And oh, it's just got to be the old-school buf-puf. (The 'gentle' one.) That boy does have some a-maz-ing skin.

    But other than the sparkles flying off of Matt, this looks like a very boring cast. I can see why they had to hire Russell again--at least the troll can do an entertaining interview.

    Can.not.wait to read more, Lala!!

  3. There isn't one single Natalie in recent reality TV memory that has turned out to be someone I'm glad I learned existed.

  4. Italians get really mad? Really? Bullshit, I watched the Godfather, they don't get mad, they get even (while smiling at you.) It's nothing personal, it's only business!

    "I'm always around old people." Gee, that's what my grandson says too, but he's fucking 5!

    What a dumbass, I only pray she's the first voted off!

  5. My vote for the first person to cry this season.

  6. She said it herself: "uncapabable"

  7. 35 is "older people?" Natalie. Shut up, bitch and go back to daycare.

    She's totally making it to the final 3. Grrrrr.

  8. My vote for the first person to cry this season.