Friday, February 11, 2011

Ralph: Floated Right Into My Heart

Ralph is a 44 year old farmer from the great Commonwealth of Virginia. He's quite proud of the fact that he's completely debt free at this stage in his life and owns two homes. Meanwhile, I'm still running from the Columbia Records Club and denying the fact that I ever willingly ordered an Enya CD. So yeah, good for you Ralph!

Ralph is also a self proclaimed mountain man which means only one thing: Henceforth, in my world, he's a moonshiner. You know how I love to write about the 'shine! Let's listen to our Virginie outlaw, shall we?

*swoon* Oh my god... he's glorious. I can't understand a single goddang word he says, but I love him. The only phrases I caught were "dead and gone" and "hell of a good time". He's so rustic and hardcore. I just hope he was talking about a squirrel or a deer just then and not a 5 year old child. That would be awkward, right?

Can you imagine the conversations between him and Lucifer? *claps hands and giggles* OK I'm officially excited now.


  1. the only one in this whole cast who is memorable (save Russell and Rob, of course)

  2. L.O.V.E. H.I.M!!!!

    First off how can you not love a man that has such a well sculpted beard like Ralph? That and his Eddie Munster point to his hair line...I really love him just for that alone.

    OMG to hear the conversations between Lucifer and Ralph...oh to be a fly on a tree because you know they won't show the good stuff on tv.

  3. "Enjoy life while it lastes!"
    That's my new motto...

  4. Wow, there are words in that monologue that I didn't think could be spoken by the human tongue without jaw dislocation first. I hope to see them in the next edition of the Oxford English Dictionary. I think he's going to be fun to watch, but as I can only make out about one tenth of what he's saying he's going to be hard to listen to.

  5. Ohh Lord. I'm from the south and I don't know what the hell he said. They're gonna need to put subtitles on this one.

  6. ahahaha--Alli, that's just what I was thinking: wouldn't it be funny if they subtitle *everything* that Roosterman says??? That'd be so GrEaT!

    I think he is really going to clash with Lucifer. You can't have two big personalities on one tribe, unfortunately. I would love to see both of these guys make it far into the game, because they're both going to be entertaining to watch.

    But alas, I think Ralph might not make it far. I bet Lucifer targets his ass. (but it would be awe-some if they join forces!!)


    We all love Ralph too!

  8. Ohh Lord. I'm from the south and I don't know what the hell he said. They're gonna need to put subtitles on this one.