Monday, September 5, 2011
Today we meet the pious Dawn Meehan. Dawn is a 41 year old English Professor at Brigham Young University which means she's one of those freaky Mormons and probably related to an Osmond. When she's not grocery shopping with her sister wives and giving 10% of her income to her church, Dawn likes to bake bread and blog. Hey, me too! (not)
Dawn's pet peeve is brown grass and people who complain. As a professional complainer, I'm insulted. As someone who lives in a state that has had a brutal summer, my lawn is flipping her off right at this very moment. Dawn is the mother of 6 adopted kids, worships her husband in a disturbingly freaky manner, and is beginning to tick me off the more I read about her.
I'll be honest here, the second I read "Brigham Young" is the second my expectations went south. I am profoundly prejudiced against any group of people that believes gin is a bad thing and at the same time thinks it's perfectly normal to use the phrase "heavenly father" in everyday conversation. Let's check out her video and see if she's as annoying as I think she is:
Yup, she bugs me. It's the square-jawed, wide-eyed, freshly-scrubbed Mormon thing coupled with the fact that she told me a story about swallowing her own vomit at the precise moment I was taking a bite of my very late lunch. I'm worried she could pull a Crazy Pants (Holly) and we'll never get rid of her. Hopefully, the young guys will take one look at her and kick her to the curb at the first tribal council. We'll just have to wait and see. I'm not sensing any awesome Kristina Kell bitchassness in her, but who knows? *shrugs shoulders* Maybe a gin-free life of do-gooding has repressed her to the brink of a full blown hedonistic meltdown. Perhaps there's an evil sorceress just dying to get out of that shiny soccer mom exterior. Fingers crossed.