Monday, February 13, 2012

Michael: Call Him Carson

Michael Jefferson is a 30 year old Banker from Seattle, Washington. His pet peeves include people who grunt while working out, bad breath, and anyone who "needs" a cigarette. But what if you get attacked by tiny ninjas who pierce your skin with a sword the size of a cigarette? In a case like that, you really do need a cigarette! You know, to plug the hole. Don't be so close-minded Michael!

Anyhow, Michael is doing Survivor because it's his mom's favorite show. Aww precious. My mom's favorite show is My Big Fat Redneck Wedding, but you don't see me marrying Harlon down at the tractor pull, do you?

Wait, isn't Carson Daly hosting The Voice or some shit like that?

The way he talks *inhale* with *gasp* bated breath is so bodice tearing, corset ripping. Actually no, it's not like that at all. It's like he's swallowing air in preparation to rip a mega shart. I don't know, I think I would have preferred his mom.

Note: If my mother ever bothers to read any of my blogs one day, she'd kill me if she knew I said her favorite show was My Big Fat Redneck Wedding. It's not. It's I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant.


  1. What's up with all the guys who work out for two hours a day ~ all on upper body?

  2. Heh,heh. I was thinking the same thing. What's up with the chicken legs?

  3. I'm till trying to figure out if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I know exactly what the word shart means.