Monday, September 17, 2012

Dawson: Decidedly Undecided

Let's meet our next lovely contestant called Dawson. Her real name is Sarah Dawson, but she goes by 'Dawson' kind of like how Private Benjamin went by 'Benjamin' instead of Judy. But I digress. Dawson is 28 years old, from Silver Spring, MD, and works in Insurance Sales. Here's the thing, when I was looking up the new Survivor cast on Facebook, I found something very interesting on Dawson's page. She calls Jeff Probst by his Christian name - DIMPLES! I invented Dimples. At least I think I did. I've been calling him that for years in this here little bloggy blog. So the question remains, does Dawson read my blog? Could she be the first Survivor to go on the show knowing she'll be getting a nickname at some point? The possibility makes my nipples hard.

Dawson says her personal claim to fame was getting her once towed car returned to her for free. As someone who just recently talked herself out of a speeding ticket, I tell you from personal experience that this is indeed a handy ability to have. Reading more about Dawson we discover that she doesn't care for disrespectful men and thinks sarcasm should qualify as a legitimate hobby. She once made someone cry while playing Cranium and would like to see a hot guy chef on her tribe. Wouldn't we all? I haven't had someone curl my toes on Survivor since Pretty Pony (Matt). Remember the pony? Remember how he frolicked in his meadow of baby's breath and daisies?

Let's see what Dawson is like in person. Please to enjoy:

Umm. Hmm. I can't decide if I love her or hate her. There something about the way she clenches the corners of her mouth that make me think of that horrible Janelle (Big Brother) yet she freely admits that she sometimes doesn't know what month it is. I'm so torn! She's not shy or boring which are plus signs, but she smiles all the time and I can't trust a person who smiles all the time. Creepy cult people smile all the time. Medicated people smile all the time. Phony people smile all the time. I could take her more seriously if she gave us a "Bitch please" face or something. Maybe a roll of the eye or a sneer. A cock of the head or a furrow of the brow. You know, like the faces I make all the time. I'll give you a "Bitch please" and won't think twice about it. And that makes me very trustworthy. ;-)

I am officially on the fence with this one. I'm straddling it evenly on both sides. Dawson is a definite "wait and see" for me. But I do think when we finally get to see her in action, I will firmly be on one side or the other. Either I'll completely love her or violently hate her. There's no middle of the road with this one.

So, what do you guys think of Dawson? Are you writhing around while straddling the fence too? Comment it out bitches!

UPDATE: Dawson has just confirmed to me that she has read the blog before. So cool! I love that and now I love her. No more straddling the fence - even though it was fun while I was up there. 


  1. Dunno about Dawson, but I'm mesmerized by the purple glitter.

  2. SO cool! Can't wait to see what nickname you come up with for her. Would figure that no death threats will be a problem from Dawson!!

  3. I was worried about your bitchy bits for a half a second there I mean a girl's got to get her glitter off, but straddling a fence ain't no way to do it, unless you happen to like barbed wire.This is pretty cool, I wonder if talking about BN and even you Lala will wind up on prime time. The gentle tinkling ice cubes, mean the glass is half full here.

  4. Dammit, where is Lisa, already?! " You take the good, you take the bad..." Bahahaha!!

  5. So was the "dimples" nickname inspired by you after all? if she uses it on jeff in the show many times would it be considered as a mark you have indirectly made on survivor history? hks

  6. She's going to run circles around "these people" mentally......but doesn't always know what month it is. Sounds good.