Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Katie: Honey Bore Bore

Next we will be meeting 22 year old Katie Hanson from Delaware. Katie lists her occupation as "Former Miss Delaware" and I'm struggling to figure out exactly what that means. Does she sit in a car with an empty tank of gas and wave to no one now? Does she loiter outside of closed Piggy Wiggly's? Does she spend her days and nights hot glue gunning the loose rhinestones back onto her tiaras? I pride myself on being a somewhat smart whipper snapper, but I can't for the life of me figure out how "Former Miss Delaware" is an occupation. What all of this means, of course, is that Katie is yet another pageant girl (see Angie for pageant girl numero uno) on this brand spanking new season of Survivor.

Unless you're a pageant girl named Honey Boo Boo, I'm kind of not interested in you. I don't know. Is it just me or are you guys over the whole pageant bitches on reality shows "thing"? I have no problem with the casting of pretty girls. As a matter of fact, I quite like it. I'd much rather watch someone hot than someone with a face like a trout, but isn't there another resource we can pull from rather than the pageant circuit? How about strip clubs instead? I'd love a cast of strippers!

Alright so let's learn what we can about Katie. Her inspiration in life is Alice Wells. You're probably asking yourself, "Who the hell is Alice Wells?" Well, Alice was the first female police officer in the nation. *stares blankly* She paved the way for other females in the police force. *blinks* And that's why I don't like pageant girls. They give rehearsed preplanned stock answers like "Alice Wells". If this chick says she's playing Survivor for "world peace", we are really going to have a problem here.

Reading more on cbs.com, Katie doesn't like bitchy conceited girls at all and those are the girls she loves to beat in pageants. She also likes to run, work out, and travel. Finally, when asked why she wanted to be on Survivor, Katie replied, "To meet the guy of my dreams!" *places hot poker gingerly on crackling fire*

Oh, I can't wait to see this. Please to enjoy:

Alright, to her credit, I understand the Alice Wells thing now. And kudos to her for wanting to be a state trooper. I can step up and admit when I'm wrong. My apologies Katie. Another one of my favorite gals, Nina Acosta (Survivor: One World), was a police officer and she's a freaking hysterical bad ass. Maybe Katie isn't as bad as I thought... *presses play again*

Nope. I was right. I hit the nail on the head. She came SO close to having me do a complete 180, but she lost me with her plan to "lay back" and let other people do the talking. Why would I ever want to watch someone sit around and let others play the game? Stop casting people like this PLEASE! Is it so much to ask for 18 boisterous Type A go-getters? FFS, give me the casting tapes and I'll do it. You people (CBS casting people) clearly can't be trusted anymore. And did Katie just say, "I'm beautiful"? *stabs self in eye with hot poker*

Alright, so what do we think of Katie? Is she going to be another one of those that slips through to the end by being invisible? Comment it out bitches!


  1. OMG! "Whirled Peas" just made our leader half blind! And this only the beginning.

  2. So...
    How many contestants will outright quit this year?

    two? three?

  3. "Stop casting people like this PLEASE! Is it so much to ask for 18 boisterous Type A go-getters? FFS, give me the casting tapes and I'll do it. You people (CBS casting people) clearly can't be trusted anymore."

    I second the motion!


  4. Lala, I agree with you. Enough with the pageant girls. Eye candy is good, but as you said how bout a smokin' hot stripper. The hot State Trooper thing is doing it for me, but we can easily find a stripper who does the State Trooper routine on stage.

    I just saw her EW.com interview linked above after the initial interview runs. You might do a 180 after watching that. She comes off more natural, funny and intelligent than the Survivor interview. For some reason, she is wearing a granny dress and floral top when meeting the other Survivors. She looks like she is dressing down her looks. Why do I find that look so hot? I am so sick.