Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Lisa: Blair Warner



You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have.... Blair Warner, bitches! Blair m*tha f*cking Warner! (I used asterisks because I know she's a devout Christian and I don't want to offend her) When I was a wee speck of the magnificent woman you see before you now, I wanted to be Blair Warner. Blair was where my world began and ended. Hey, little kids become obsessed with things and, other than Barbies and roller skating, Blair was my obsession.



From the first moment I watched Facts Of Life, I was captivated by the lovely Miss Lisa Whelchel. Back then, I only knew her as "Blair" (which is how I'll be referring to her all season long in my recaps) and in my young impressionable eyes, she was perfect. She was beautiful, rich, popular, and she went to, what I thought was, the coolest school in the world - Eastland. Naturally, I begged my mother to let me go to an all girls private school too. She probably thought her precocious child was pining for an excellent education and sound religious training, but no... I just wanted to be like Blair Warner and wear a uniform. And wear uniforms I did... year in and year out. All the way up until I graduated high school. Thanks Blair.


So, now that you know a little about my weirdo childhood obsession, it should be no surprise to you that I will obviously be rooting for Lisa Whelchel. How could I not?! I know she's Christian and I know she's pretty passionate about it, but she's still Blair Warner. I gotta give my girl some respect.


No more rambling. Let's get to it. Lisa is 49 years old and currently lives in Dallas, Texas with her husband and three children. She admires and respects Oprah and wanted to be on Survivor because she's a huge fan of the show. Plus, she wanted to meet the lovely and fetching Dimples (Jeff Probst). Who doesn't? She doesn't care for people who judge others *looks around the room innocently* and insists that she was BORN to play Survivor. She plans on approaching the game by looking at the big picture and then assessing what steps she needs to take to accomplish her goals and get the job done. She also thinks Jo is a grease monkey and probably hates the shoes you're wearing right now. Awesome.

Tootie, cue up that video! Please to enjoy:



Will you look at those delicious "to the sky" eyebrows? I have a new fondness for lethal looking eyebrows thanks to that crazy loon called Danielle over on Big Brother 14. Bad Botox and all, I still love you Lisa. I am definitely looking forward to the scene when everyone looks at each other and elbows one another in the ribs going, "Is that Blair Warner? OMG that's Blair Warner!" I hope they don't hold it against her and keep her around for at least a few weeks. Look, I have no disillusions about her success in the game. She may not last very long, but that's OK. It's just fun to see Blair again in a new environment. She's not going to be a villain and I never expected her to be one. I can see her playing more a motherly role - especially to the younger girls. Oh Christ (sorry Lisa), I really hope those pageant idiots don't look to Lisa for guidance and align with her. Of course, knowing my luck and how nothing ever goes my way on these shows, she'll be besties with Angie and Katie and my understanding of good and evil, hot and cold, and up and down will be shot to hell.

So, what do you guys think of Lisa/Blair? Were you fans of Facts Of Life? Will you die of happiness if she says at any point in time, to her alliance, "I just had another one of my brilliant ideas"? Comment it out bitches!

18 comments:

  1. I so see you as a Jo girl and not a Blair girl.

    Loved the show but Blair was my least favorite of the girls.

    I love you Mrs. Garrett!!!

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    1. Jo?!? You're crazy. I'm not a tomboy. I was very much a girly girl. I'm not froo-froo or anything today, but I'm also not a no make-up wearing chick with a ponytail who wears tennis shoes with jeans. Blech!

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    2. Lol That was exactly the response I was expecting. It was more of a fuck you I do what I want attitude that Jo had that I see in you but apparently that came after your girly girl development. I will concede you are probably a perfect balance between the two :p

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    3. In your denial of Jo, you just described me to a T. lmao. No makeup, jeans, tshirt and tennies, and a ponytail every day. :D

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  2. I was a big Blair fan too as a kid, but now Im hearing and reading things about some child rearing book she wrote and thinking she could be a villain isnt such a distant dream. Maybe she'll use some of her methods on the pageant girls.
    BTW....the security words you have to type to post our comments are brutal. Im about to try my 4th one and Im not a robot >:-(

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  3. I can totally see you as a "Blair" girl considering the GLITTER and such....and of course the "bitchy" aspect. I on the other hand was a "Jo" girl as I was a rip roaring tomboy and never grew out of it.

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  4. Lisa and Sarah and Avi are my Favs of the girls. And now I feel like I have been pushed into a pool of happiness. Let the season begin!!!!

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  5. I was a tomboy, but I still loved Blair myself...the hair..the hair had me mesmerized. I love that she took the Survivor route though because she just seems lovely. I was gonna pick her for the fantasy game, but I'm afraid they will get rid of her early, but I still love her. lol

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  6. Maybe you could put these perceptions of how we all see you to rest if you gave us a sneak little photo of yourself. Even one from when you were like 15 would be better than nothing. You see all us on Facebook, right? Seems fair.

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  7. LaLa, I think you would be a combo of Blair and Nat (because of the writing)!
    I have actually been watching reruns of TFOL lately, just brings me back to my childhood again, when I actually believed I could be like Blair or Jo (I thought both were "pretty", but I liked Jo's attitude back in those days).
    Excited to see how she does. Kind of bummed Colton isn't back with the previously injured group though, I guess it was too soon?

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    1. I like how you qualified the Nat remark with "because of the writing!" LOL

      I've been watching the reruns too. They were playing them weekly on The Hub. I have no idea if they still are.

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    2. Yes, on Wed. nights @ 8 then rerun later in the night.

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    3. I like that comparison as well and I agree. So to sum it up I think it's fair to say that Lala is Blair , Jo, Nat, and Trudy combined. She encompasses all of the special traits that we loved from each of these characters that we grew up with and admired with a touch of don't mess with my girls attitude from Mrs. Garrett.

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    4. I post the weirdest things when I'm drunk. What a kiss ass!!

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    5. You should drink and comment more often!

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  8. OMG, I wish they would've just cast a very special "Facts of Life Reunion Survivor" season. Would that not be FABULOUS!?! Imagine if they could get Clooney!!!

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    1. Anon I was thinking the same thing!
      To have at least all 4 girls (maybe even the stragglers from the first year who didn't make the cut for the later seasons...Molly Ringwald!).
      I guess if they did that it would kind of turn into the "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here" kind of thing, so maybe not.

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  9. OK--Love Blair and hope she makes it far in the game. If they ever do have a TFOL Survivor Reunion, they HAVE to get Blair's mentally challenged cousin Jerri in there. No joke. I loved how she was this stand up comedian that everyone embraced! Good times. Not sure if Mindy Cohn (Natalie) would be up for it, though. She is busy providing the voice of Daphne in the Scooby Doo cartoons........

    Can't wait for this season--I told my husband to stay the hell away from me while I sit happily by myself with a bottle of wine and watch these episodes and follow up with Lala's comments. Absolute heaven to a mother of three young kids--I think Survivor and this blog are the only things that connect me to my single life! I know that you are not religious, Colette (and Lord knows, neither am I!) but God bless you, your sense of humor, your amazing writing ability, and your love of alcohol. Cheers, Bitch!

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