Saturday, February 9, 2013

Eddie: The Little Boy

Let us now meet 23 year old Eddie Fox. Eddie is a fireman from East Brunswick, New Jersey and says his claim to fame is "helping others." My claim to fame is drinking topless and flicking light switches on and off with my nipples. I don't know about you, but that is so much more handy than helping people.

Why Eddie looks like he's taking a dump in his cast photo is anyone's guess. The better question would be why Eddie wants sneakers and a cutting tool on the island when he will already have sneakers and a cutting tool on the island. Eddie, my love, you can bring whatever shoes you want and I don't know if you've seen an episode of this little show you're on called Survivor, but they GIVE YOU A MACHETE.

Let's see what this brain trust has to say for himself. Please to enjoy:

A vision in periwinkle. A freshly scrubbed bright-eyed lad ready to take on the world. Full of plans, ripe with ideas. A real go-getter. The little boy optimism has some charm to it, but it is the lisp that has stolen my heart. That lisp! It's a crumpled-hair-roll-out-of-bed-in-your-Batman-PJ's-kick-the-air-trip-over-a-Tonka-truck-and-take-the-ritalin-your-mama-set-out-for-you ball of innocence. A lip furling 10 year old in a 23 year old man's body. He's the movie Big in real life.

Socially, he could win people over. Strategically, he'll play too hard, too fast. I don't expect much from Eddie in the way of cutthroat backstabbing game play. But I do expect him to say Sthurvivor a lot. And isn't that just as satisfying? I mean, sthatisfying.

So, what do you think of Eddie? Does he have sthaying power? Can he lasth in the game? Comment it out.


  1. Did he get permission from his first grade teacher to miss school so that he could be on Survivor?

  2. Likable, but I don't see much advanced strategy from him.

    I'm thinking Jay from 2 seasons ago that got played by Kim and Chelsea.