Thursday, March 7, 2013

Blogus Interruptus

Sorry, bitches. No blog this week. I just moved yesterday and things are a little crazy right now. Never ye fear! I will definitely be back next week to document Lil Hantz PIZZING ON YO BEENS.

In the meantime, feel free to leave your comments about the episode. Did the right person go home and does she have early onset osteoporosis? Was Shalimar crying tears of sadness or tears of joy? How many tata's did Tata squeeze? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!


  1. The most interesting thing about this week's episode was the preview for next week's episode. But in summary, I'm glad that whiny bitch Shalimar is gone, and the tribe was smart to ditch the useless bimbo too. They need to start winning some challenges or Team Stupid will plow them over after the merge. As to the so called favorites, I would like to see Shepard and lil Hantz get sent packing sooner rather than later. I think that could happen in rapid succession; Shepherd is close to be lughed at behind his back already. This season is proving fairly interesting so far, at least to me.

  2. I'm amazed. I thought the alliance of losers would continue voting out strong players and continue losing challenges, which was the position Cherie and Laura argued for. Apparently they planned to have a deeply loyal alliance of 2 or 3 at the merge as part of a unique strategy to ensure 1 or 2 of them made the jury. At the same time the heathers have to be some of the dopiest social players ever.

    On the favourites side, who the hell knows? Special Agent Shepherd appears to be trying to create an alliance of everyone. Frankly I'm surprised he hasn't taken the chance to invite some of the fan tribe into his alliance.

    In other news, how long until one of these nutters the casting director seems to adore decides (not completely implausibly) that there is another route to the big bucks via a courtroom.

  3. If all our Military people were like Shamar, we'd all be wearing burkas and chanting crap.
    MikeyMike in the Rockies

  4. Thank god Shamar is gone. Laura was boring, too. Phillip can go home too; he just annoys the piss out of me. I don't get why everyone is loving this season. I'm kinda bored with it.

  5. Shalimar may be a crappy survivor but let's not belittle his service to our country. Anon, have you put your life on the line multiple times to protect our rights and liberties? If not, STFU.

    Favorite parts from last night: Mascarpone whine about not having a spy name, Filipino Gollum, and the preview of Lil Hantz bean-destroying, rice-pissin' meltdown. I CANNOT wait.

    1. "Anon, have you put your life on the line multiple times to protect our rights and liberties? If not, STFU."

      If only people who've served are allowed to speak up (as your post suggests), then "our rights and liberties" haven't really been protected, have they?

      Regarding the show, thank God Lil Hantz still has the freedom to express himself.

    2. I was responding to the implication that because Shalimar wasn't the strongest Survivor, he was therefore a weak service man, and if all service men and women were like him, we would be subjects of other countries and "wearing burkas." I disagree with that assertion. The man put his life on the line through several tours of duty, and I stand by my call for some respect for his sacrifice. So yes, anon can STFU. :) Have a great day!

  6. Marcus Aurelius said...March 7, 2013 at 8:01 PM

    Blogus interruptus due to moving house eh? Some unpacking advice: for maximus efficiency, always unpack the stereo first, then the wineglass, then the wine. Then unpack everything else tomorrow.

    It's worked out well though, 'cos this means you won't have to top last week - which would have taken quite a bit of effort. I'm still laughing at Martin Luther posting his list of people who need to (Shalimar's voice now) SHUT UP! Pope Innocent the 8th needs to SHUT UP! Pope Benedict the 9th needs to SHUT UP!

    Alright, this gives me the opportunity to make an observation that occurred to me last week, but that I didn't explore:

    Theddie kept reminding me of someone, but I couldn't work out who. Last week it hit me.

    He resembles Paul Newman. "Cool Hand Luke" era Paul Newman.

    Does this mean his speech quirk qualifies as a 'failure to commun'cate'?

    Do you think he could eat fifty eggth?

    Hey, I've developed a lisp all of a thudden!

    And it's getting thicker by the thentence!

    What'th happening to me?!

    Oh, thcrew this. I'll thee you nektht Thurthday!

    Unleth there ith another bloguth interuptuth, of courthe.

    P.ETH. Why ith my thcreen covered in tho much thpit? It'th dithguthting!

  7. My Favorite Moments:
    Jeff Approving Chesty's Medical Treatment, like he was Chesty's dad

    The Real Estate Guy saying he misdiagnosed Chesty, but Chesty was still an ass

    Real Estate Guy wasting his HII at Tribal

  8. If Mascaroni keeps pressing The Specialist for a secret agent name, he may end up dubbing her "Aunt Flo," because the way she acts, it seems like she's always on the rag.

  9. To the first winner of the Pulitzer Prize for The Bitchy Survivor Blog, I can hardly believe that you don't have a bevy of bitches at your disposal to do your moving for you. Anyone of us devotees would have gladly carried boxes of gin, bowls of dipping glitter and your secret stash of Golden Boy steamy pics. I would have insisted that your fingertips be covered in a healing hemp cream, that your breasts be wrapped in bubble wrap in anticipation for your first dip at the new place, and that you be carried into the new digs with a host of non jury Survivor castoffs.

    That, my dear, would have been a move. Don't worry about us. We'll be here next week.

    -Restless Wrestler

  10. Shakira takes on Shalimar in this week's Survivor After Show:

  11. What was up with Shamar's hand?

  12. @anonymous2:14pm

    Thanks for the heads up re Shakira! Just watched it. A laugh riot!

    I offer the following quote as stone cold proof that I was right about my beloved Abi-Maria, and all the haters were wrong: "It's fun because it's alcoholic..."

    and also "PMSing"