Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Aras and Vytas: Cain and Abel

I'm baaaack! And I'm going to fly through this cast pretty quickly this year. To the video!

Aras is about as exciting as a lukewarm glass of chamomile tea. Never mind the fact that I've seen every episode of Survivor and still have no idea who the hell he is. Vytas, on the other hand, has deception in his eyes. Deception, chicanery and, dare I say, a dash of charisma?

I expect jealousy and an overwhelming sense of frustration to consume Aras' every waking thought. The raging green envy juice will course through his veins until one day he'll bludgeon Vytas to death and chuck his lifeless corpse into the formerly sanitary water well. Poor Vytas, we hardly knew ye.

So what do we think of the Biblical Brothers? Will Vytas overshadow Aras? Is the rooster in the background crowing a warning to Vytas? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!


  1. Welcome back!

    I hope your muse is well rested, for I feel she may be required to do a lot of heavy lifting this season. I don't blame you for flying through the first impressions.

    Vytas is my pick to win. I get the Cain and Abel thing, but I think you have the envy flowing through the wrong veins. Aras won once; Vytas will be desperate to outlast his younger brother and collect a million for himself.

    Aside from being a great name for a band, Vytas' veins directly relate to another reason I'm backing him: he's an ex-heroin addict. When I first saw the promo video for Blood vs Water, way before the cast was announced, the blood blooming into the water reminded me of the Velvet Underground lyric "...when it shoots up the droppers neck". Months later, when I read Vytas' bio on CBS.com, I thought 'PORTENT!' It was enough for me to back him anyway.

    Admittedly, I'm always seeing portents where other people see ​simple ​coincidences, but ​I have backed the last three Survivor winners, and my BBAU pick is looking pretty good too.

    It's ​kind of ​a drag seeing portents around every corner though​. My doctor prescribed Xanax​ for my constant anxiety​, but every time I venture out of the house to fill the prescription, an ominous​ black car passes by!

    I really should move out of central London.

  2. On the tvgn special both Parvati and Probst said Vytas was their pick to win.

  3. I'm glad you don't remember him either. I even watched the finale on YT the other day and still don't remember him. :/