Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Monica & Brad: Bonnie & Clyde

And now we meet Monica and Brad Culpepper. Monica is the smoking hot homemaker and Brad is the other one. Monica is one of those players that we never really got to know too well and who went way before her time because a pastel t-shirt wearing racist didn't want her around anymore. Well, add her former NFL playing husband into the mix and you've got a power duo hell bent on revenge. And let me tell you, revenge tastes even sweeter when it's at the expense of a pampered white supremacist. To the video!

Please to enjoy:

Awww. The Culpeppers are lovely and adorable and... full of murderous rage! When Monica described how she wanted to repeatedly beat Fancy Pants (Colton) with a large boulder as Brad urinates into his empty eye sockets, I shuddered. I shuddered and then I grabbed my pom-poms and did a cheer.

Who can we humiliate!
Colton! Colton!
Dieeeeee Colton!
*high kicks, roundoff back handspring, split*

So, what do we think of the Culpeppers? Can they take out Fancy Pants in a swift and timely manner? Will Monica auction the bloody boulder on eBay? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!


  1. Okay, when are you opening a book on how long it takes for Fancy Pants to be well and truly dropped?

  2. What I find to be the most strange about this cast is how many returnees we have from One World, which I always thought was a snooze season. But, it's possible these were good choices. ...Counting the hours until the fun begins!

  3. Article in our Tampa Bay Times today, Monica is quoted as saying (72 hours before thy were to get on a plane) "I'm not sacrificing the kids, not going all the way to the Philippines, not doing all this to have (contestants) willing to drown themselves to get at my husband"
    I'm a bit unsure why she thought Brad would be such a huge target?! He was a shitty quarterback and now floods our TV with his personal injury law firm commercials. *groans* I can only hope they stick around long enough to torment Colton!

  4. All along I assumed Monica's NFL husband was quarterback Daunte Culpepper. I don't want to look at this guy's purple honor nipples all season.

  5. If only. You know that dimwitted fancy pants will take them out because he is mean and stupid, and people always do whatever mean and stupid people tell them to. Dear God, please prove me wrong.

    BTW, yes, Brad Culpepper was not a Quarterback, shitty or otherwise. He was a defensive tackle. Snark aside, nobody is a career *anything* in the NFL without being a serious bad-ass. Poor Tim Tebow was a Heisman Trophy winner and his short-lived career is Oh-vah. Done. Finito. I pity the fool that goes up against Brad in a physical challenge.

  6. Brad came off like a moronic hick this first episode.

  7. He's really rude. And comes across a losing baby in challenges.